Late Night Conversations
Me: Everybody's got something to hiiiide, cept for me and my MONKEY!
Tobie: Well, I hide my monkey, actually....
Me: Yeah?
Tobie: Well, do you know my monkey?
Me: Does he know my monkey? Bobo?
Tobie: Oh yeah, cuz they're both monkeys so they must know each other. That's so racist of you Miri!
Me: I think you mean speciesist, actually....
Tobie: It's like, he's a monkey, and he's a monkey so they must daven at the same shul!
Me: Well, I've never met your monkey, but I know my monkey davens at the same shul........
Tobie: Well, I hide my monkey, actually....
Me: Yeah?
Tobie: Well, do you know my monkey?
Me: Does he know my monkey? Bobo?
Tobie: Oh yeah, cuz they're both monkeys so they must know each other. That's so racist of you Miri!
Me: I think you mean speciesist, actually....
Tobie: It's like, he's a monkey, and he's a monkey so they must daven at the same shul!
Me: Well, I've never met your monkey, but I know my monkey davens at the same shul........
posted by Miri at 2:36 PM
24 Comments:
Dieter: I am so full of anticipation that my genitals have sucked up into my body cavity. Before we begin… before we begin, would you like to touch my Monkey?
Karl-Heinz: I would be honored.
Dieter: Touch him! Love him! Liebe mein affe-mienke! [Karl-Heinz shakes hands with Dieter’s monkey, sitting on a pedestal] Now I am as happy a little girl. Let us see the first video.
[ Videos are shown as described by Karl-Heinz in the next several dialogs ]
Karl-Heinz: The first video was sent in by Colin Hartmen from Dueseldorf. Here is a fat man in a diaper cavorting about in a lawn shprinkler. I guess this proves that old Bavarian saying that a fat man and a shprinkler are soon together.
Dieter: Brilliant. Truly disturbing.
Karl-Heinz: The next disturbing video was sent in by Napoleon Shultz of Breman. In it was see a man distributing leaflets. Another man comes over and read one. Watch what he does. He has kicked the man in the testicles! Look - the pain was so intense he has to vomit.
Dieter: His agony was gorgeous. I need to be slapped.
more...
well, I'm disturbed.....
Ok, now THAT was funny, Miri.
(Hi, I'm here from Shriki's "blog")
sabra,
thanks! it's nice to hear from you.
:)
(tried emailin you but couldn't find no address nowhere)
paperspoonslive@gmail.com
Miri: Does your monkey have nothing to hide?
My monkey. Has nothing. To hide.
hey sabra. i've been looking all over for you.... could i have my fork back?
Hi Miri!!
rachel! how did you find me here?!? i'm so glad you did!
k i dunno how to say this rachel but er your fork exists no longer. i've traded it in for a knife and some funny utensil with a roundish indent at the end of an unsharp knife.
you took my fork and are asking back for your spoon?
i know better than to do that now.
miriiiii! she's not playing fair! punish her with something! inflict spoonititis on her!
Actually, today's hayom yom would not be happy with that joke.
So, let it be known that punishments of spoonititis are actually a form of um um rachel? pick something you like!
(this is slightly embarrassing that anyone else who commented here will be reading this)
also, rachel--did u notice the "'s I put when mentioning shlomo's site?
hehe
MIRI-THANK U FOR UR SPACE. YOU ARE KIND NOT TO BAN US MONKEYS.
omigoshigosh *SHRIEK* . you take my fork, want my spoon, then ask Miri to give me spoonititis (then refuse me that too!). !?
I thought we were more than that.
Shriek. Shriek. Shriek.
Sigh. Sigh. Sigh.
(actually, i really 'preciate that you're so in tune with my feelings that you wouldn't inflict spoonititus on me even when i frustrate you more than strawberries frustrate apples. Shalom bayit.)
on your last comment, sab (ahem, sabra)... what s? I feel left behind.
Miri, I echo Sabra. Thanks for your space. And I really liked this post.
not the s. the quotes. in this comment thread. i crack up every time i pass it. (thrice daily, miri)
rachel, when u wrote 'shriek' i thought it was gonna be a reference to shriki. hehe.
the word verification is micave. thats a kid with a mouth full of popcorn answering his mother how he wants his chicken warmed up. yknow, the microwave.
I don't think I've ever had my comments space so badly abused by people I don't really know. that's...refreshing. as long as you're keeping it clean.....
glad you enjoyed the post!
Yes, Miri, we heard the underlying "OMG I'M SO FLATTERED RACHEL N SABRA ARE COMMENTING ON MYYYYYYYY POST".
Sigh, it's hard to be famous.
mmmm, yeah or the vaguely puzzled "why are they randomly arguing on my blog?"ness. Either way.
Oof sorry. It's a bad habit we've developed lately and we are going to break.
No more.
Thanks for bein chilled :)
(Rachel, don't comment anymore. Leave it to me.)
it's cool, I mean I don't really mind. I'm just sort of you know...puzzled.
ye ye we puzzle ourselves, as well.
--my apologies to e-kvetcher and jameel btw--
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