Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Late Night Conversations

Me: Everybody's got something to hiiiide, cept for me and my MONKEY!
Tobie: Well, I hide my monkey, actually....
Me: Yeah?
Tobie: Well, do you know my monkey?
Me: Does he know my monkey? Bobo?
Tobie: Oh yeah, cuz they're both monkeys so they must know each other. That's so racist of you Miri!
Me: I think you mean speciesist, actually....
Tobie: It's like, he's a monkey, and he's a monkey so they must daven at the same shul!
Me: Well, I've never met your monkey, but I know my monkey davens at the same shul........


Blogger e-kvetcher said...

Dieter: I am so full of anticipation that my genitals have sucked up into my body cavity. Before we begin… before we begin, would you like to touch my Monkey?

Karl-Heinz: I would be honored.

Dieter: Touch him! Love him! Liebe mein affe-mienke! [Karl-Heinz shakes hands with Dieter’s monkey, sitting on a pedestal] Now I am as happy a little girl. Let us see the first video.

[ Videos are shown as described by Karl-Heinz in the next several dialogs ]

Karl-Heinz: The first video was sent in by Colin Hartmen from Dueseldorf. Here is a fat man in a diaper cavorting about in a lawn shprinkler. I guess this proves that old Bavarian saying that a fat man and a shprinkler are soon together.

Dieter: Brilliant. Truly disturbing.

Karl-Heinz: The next disturbing video was sent in by Napoleon Shultz of Breman. In it was see a man distributing leaflets. Another man comes over and read one. Watch what he does. He has kicked the man in the testicles! Look - the pain was so intense he has to vomit.

Dieter: His agony was gorgeous. I need to be slapped.


6:54 PM  
Blogger Miri said...

well, I'm disturbed.....

5:08 AM  
Blogger the sabra said...

Ok, now THAT was funny, Miri.

(Hi, I'm here from Shriki's "blog")

2:16 PM  
Blogger Miri said...

thanks! it's nice to hear from you.

1:47 PM  
Blogger the sabra said...


(tried emailin you but couldn't find no address nowhere)

1:53 PM  
Blogger Miri said...

3:11 AM  
Blogger Jameel @ The Muqata said...

Miri: Does your monkey have nothing to hide?

1:03 PM  
Blogger Miri said...

My monkey. Has nothing. To hide.

3:33 PM  
Blogger Rachel said...

hey sabra. i've been looking all over for you.... could i have my fork back?

Hi Miri!!

3:09 PM  
Blogger the sabra said...

rachel! how did you find me here?!? i'm so glad you did!

k i dunno how to say this rachel but er your fork exists no longer. i've traded it in for a knife and some funny utensil with a roundish indent at the end of an unsharp knife.

3:17 PM  
Blogger Rachel said...

you took my fork and are asking back for your spoon?

i know better than to do that now.

4:04 PM  
Blogger the sabra said...

miriiiii! she's not playing fair! punish her with something! inflict spoonititis on her!

4:06 PM  
Blogger the sabra said...

Actually, today's hayom yom would not be happy with that joke.

So, let it be known that punishments of spoonititis are actually a form of um um rachel? pick something you like!

(this is slightly embarrassing that anyone else who commented here will be reading this)

4:08 PM  
Blogger the sabra said...

also, rachel--did u notice the "'s I put when mentioning shlomo's site?


4:10 PM  
Blogger Rachel said...

omigoshigosh *SHRIEK* . you take my fork, want my spoon, then ask Miri to give me spoonititis (then refuse me that too!). !?
I thought we were more than that.

Shriek. Shriek. Shriek.
Sigh. Sigh. Sigh.

(actually, i really 'preciate that you're so in tune with my feelings that you wouldn't inflict spoonititus on me even when i frustrate you more than strawberries frustrate apples. Shalom bayit.)

4:23 PM  
Blogger Rachel said...

on your last comment, sab (ahem, sabra)... what s? I feel left behind.

Miri, I echo Sabra. Thanks for your space. And I really liked this post.

4:25 PM  
Blogger the sabra said...

not the s. the quotes. in this comment thread. i crack up every time i pass it. (thrice daily, miri)

rachel, when u wrote 'shriek' i thought it was gonna be a reference to shriki. hehe.

the word verification is micave. thats a kid with a mouth full of popcorn answering his mother how he wants his chicken warmed up. yknow, the microwave.

4:51 PM  
Blogger Miri said...

I don't think I've ever had my comments space so badly abused by people I don't really know. that's...refreshing. as long as you're keeping it clean.....

glad you enjoyed the post!

4:41 PM  
Blogger the sabra said...


Sigh, it's hard to be famous.

2:58 PM  
Blogger Miri said...

mmmm, yeah or the vaguely puzzled "why are they randomly arguing on my blog?"ness. Either way.

9:50 AM  
Blogger the sabra said...

Oof sorry. It's a bad habit we've developed lately and we are going to break.

No more.

Thanks for bein chilled :)

(Rachel, don't comment anymore. Leave it to me.)

2:17 PM  
Blogger Miri said...

it's cool, I mean I don't really mind. I'm just sort of you know...puzzled.

5:33 PM  
Blogger the sabra said...

ye ye we puzzle ourselves, as well.

12:57 PM  
Blogger the sabra said...

--my apologies to e-kvetcher and jameel btw--

12:58 PM  

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