vignettes with Tobie
Me: I think I'm gonna write a novel.
Tobie: Is it gonna be all you?
M: Well...yes.
T: Can't you do something else with it as well? All you gets to be so boring!
M: There'll be other people in it, of course I'm not going to be the only character.
T: Yes but you know; memoirs get so angsty. I like a little fiction in my fiction, you know? Can't you stick a little fiction in there?
M: Ok, I'll put in a dragon.
T: A real one?
M: In the book it'll be real. It can be one of my wacky adventures.
T: No, I mean real fiction, you know, like stuff you don't see every day.
M: You mean like a..like a...
T: Like a fish.
M: Right, like a fish....
T: Well, have you ever seen one?
M: Yes.
T: Miri...you're not helping here...
M: The fish can be the dragon's sidekick.
T: In a jumpsuit?
M: In a jumpsuit.
T: An orange polyester one?
M: An orange polyester one.
T: Jumpsuits are the wave of the future you know.
M: I know, Tobie. I know.
Me: You guys watching the movie tonight?
Chava: No, not in the end.
M: Oh, that's sad.
Tobie: You know what's sad? What's sad is your face!
M: Hey, I don't need your lip! I have my own.
T: Yes but the sad thing about your lip is where you keep it.
M: I keep it on my face.
T: Exactly!
C: Don't you want to know where Tobie keeps her lip?
T: I keep my lip somewhere very safe, thank you.
M: Switzerland?
T: No.
M: A fish?
T: No, not a fish.
M: A squash?
T: No. hey, how do you turn a pumpkin into another vegetable?
(Everyone present rolls their eyes.)
All: How, Tobie, how?
T: You throw it up in the air and it comes down SPLAT!
C: You mean squash?
T: The other answer is that it comes down carrot.
M: Of course it does.
T: It does!
M: I know, Tobie. I know.
Miri: If I had a million dollars
Chava: I'd buy you a green dress
M: But not a real green dress, that's cruel
Tobie: Haven't you always wanted a monkey?
M: Who wouldn't want a monkey?
T: But they're mischeivous and they smell.
M: And they steal spare change for you. Come on, who doesn't want stolen spare monkey change?
T: I want a stolen spare monkey.
M: I just want a normal monkey.
C: I just want a real green dress.
T and M: That's cruel!!
C: With a capital C that rhymes with P that stands for pool!
T and M: Stands for pool!
T: Hey we rhymed. We're poets without knowing its.
M: Well, actually we knew it.
T: You did?
Chava and Miri nod.
T: But I didn't know it.
C and M: We know, Tobie. We know.
Tobie: Is it gonna be all you?
M: Well...yes.
T: Can't you do something else with it as well? All you gets to be so boring!
M: There'll be other people in it, of course I'm not going to be the only character.
T: Yes but you know; memoirs get so angsty. I like a little fiction in my fiction, you know? Can't you stick a little fiction in there?
M: Ok, I'll put in a dragon.
T: A real one?
M: In the book it'll be real. It can be one of my wacky adventures.
T: No, I mean real fiction, you know, like stuff you don't see every day.
M: You mean like a..like a...
T: Like a fish.
M: Right, like a fish....
T: Well, have you ever seen one?
M: Yes.
T: Miri...you're not helping here...
M: The fish can be the dragon's sidekick.
T: In a jumpsuit?
M: In a jumpsuit.
T: An orange polyester one?
M: An orange polyester one.
T: Jumpsuits are the wave of the future you know.
M: I know, Tobie. I know.
Me: You guys watching the movie tonight?
Chava: No, not in the end.
M: Oh, that's sad.
Tobie: You know what's sad? What's sad is your face!
M: Hey, I don't need your lip! I have my own.
T: Yes but the sad thing about your lip is where you keep it.
M: I keep it on my face.
T: Exactly!
C: Don't you want to know where Tobie keeps her lip?
T: I keep my lip somewhere very safe, thank you.
M: Switzerland?
T: No.
M: A fish?
T: No, not a fish.
M: A squash?
T: No. hey, how do you turn a pumpkin into another vegetable?
(Everyone present rolls their eyes.)
All: How, Tobie, how?
T: You throw it up in the air and it comes down SPLAT!
C: You mean squash?
T: The other answer is that it comes down carrot.
M: Of course it does.
T: It does!
M: I know, Tobie. I know.
Miri: If I had a million dollars
Chava: I'd buy you a green dress
M: But not a real green dress, that's cruel
Tobie: Haven't you always wanted a monkey?
M: Who wouldn't want a monkey?
T: But they're mischeivous and they smell.
M: And they steal spare change for you. Come on, who doesn't want stolen spare monkey change?
T: I want a stolen spare monkey.
M: I just want a normal monkey.
C: I just want a real green dress.
T and M: That's cruel!!
C: With a capital C that rhymes with P that stands for pool!
T and M: Stands for pool!
T: Hey we rhymed. We're poets without knowing its.
M: Well, actually we knew it.
T: You did?
Chava and Miri nod.
T: But I didn't know it.
C and M: We know, Tobie. We know.
posted by Miri at 2:53 PM
8 Comments:
It's obvious you guys talk about very diverse stuff.
I love dragon, if they have the abilty to speak that is.
So that would be a book I'd like.
So didn't get what the lip thing was about...
No monkey for me, and no other pets either.
seriously? we're actually conducting a poll about the monkey at the moment; the theory being everyone secretly really wants a monkey. guess there's an exception to every rule.
the lip thing is an ongoing insult bit; it doesn't really make sense....
and as to the book, I'll let you nkow when it actually gets written. :)
To my defense, the conversations are both fictionalized and usually very late at night, at which point I tend to get gabby and elliptical. And the lip bit is comedic genius, don't knock it, Mir.
the conversations are only marginally fictionalized, and in 99 out of 100 cases based on stuff that has actually been said. watch your mouth woman.
is Tobie a house-elf?
just checking. cuz that would explain a lot.
close; next door neighbor.
Wow! I haven't read anything this hilarious in forever plus 2 weeks. [I don't know if you'll take this as a compliment but it is]: you do Joseph Heller quite a bit better than Joseph Heller. And he's actually Joseph Heller, soooooo...
Please publish a book. Please?
I'm working on it. we'll see.
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