spoonicus

Okay, so I've gotten kind of bored with explaining about my spoon stuff. so here, for all and sundry to see, I am posting the entire story, beginning to end. and no one need ever ask me personally again, bc now I can just say, in a jaded sort of way, "Oh, it's on my blog; look it up for yourself."

way way back in time, a long time ago, my older brother was in sixth grade. one day, he was sitting in class, everyone around him silently doing their silent busywork, and he was thinking about the Tick. Now for those of you who don't know or don't remember, the Tick was this overmuscled, goofy, sort of screwball cartoon superhero in a blue costume with antenae. and his battle cry was "Spoon!" so there sits my brother innocently daydreaming, when all of a sudden, out of the completely involuntary blue, he yells "Spoon!" in the middle of class. naturally everyone giggles. he comes home and tells this story to me and my sister, I must have been in first or second grade at the time, and we can't stop laughing, and think he's a big hero for doing it.

this memory gets more or less buried in my subconcious for a good five or six years, quietly
shaping my personality and forming the twisted inner workings of my psyche.

now, from the years of the fourth through seventh grades, me and my sister went to the house of family friends after school. they had two girls about our respective ages, and our families were fairly close, so it seemed like an ideal after school baby-sitting situation. we watched less tv at their house. Mrs. W. was one of those people who are always encouraging their children to do creative and intellectually stimulating things. so one day in seventh grade I get to the Ws' house, and Mrs. W hands me and my friend this little book of "inspirational Phrases," written and compiled by some teenage girl while she was suffering heartbreak and whatnot in high school. you know, "You are beautiful," "eat some marshmellow fluff and dance around while singing into a hairbrush" "hug a tree" sort of thing. and Mrs. W. says to us, "Why don't you girls write something like that?" my friend goes off to play on the computer.

but I, being me, used this relatively cheesecorn confection as the springboard for some weird and wonderful madness. I started writing stuff and it was inspired. About halfway down the page, out of nowhere, came the phrase, "Paper spoons live!" which kind of tickled me, and afer that every few phrases was another about the spoons. it eventually evolved into this whole theory about cats ruling the world, but they just don't know it yet, and spoons ruling the cats, abt which they are quite cognizant, and then something about the teddy bears ruling the spoons, but being completely unaware of anything, which is why spoons are deathly afraid of teddy bears, won't say the name "teddy" and are quietly planning a complete revolution through which they will topple the teddy-spoon-cat-human hierarchy and gain total and complete control of all the universe. I am their key mole in the world of human beings, and they are going to grant me a prestigous position in the government with a very healthy pension and awesome health-benefits for helping them overthrow the world at large. I started a quiet crusade at school by writing daily spoon phrases on the blackboard during recess, which amused my classmates.

now as to the questions of whether or not paper spoons really exist. I had always taken the concept more or less on faith. but my senior year, we had a lab in physics which required that we create and use a real life paper spoon. since then, I no longer need to take the question on faith; I know it to be so. so there, all ye skeptics. you can ask Tobie i f you don't believe me.

thus I leave you with more or less the entire story of the spoons. the history is somewhat more detailed and entangled than I have related here. bu we only have the time and space for so much; and so, "that is another story, and shall be told another time."