Oficially Left Wing
Here is a test which officially claimed me to be Left Wing Modern O. I'm not sure why since I apparently scored higher (93%) as a Right Wing Modern O, (only 71% as a LWMO,) and I really don't know exactly how the scoring works. But I am insanely proud. Is that sad?
(I'm not sure exactly where that link is going to lead you all, but I don't know how to fiddle with html stuff. Maybe someone can instruct me. Yoni?)
Anyway, the reason this makes me giggle with sardonic and vaguely vengeful glee is a reflection on my weekend.
Thursday afternoon, my madricha from my first year in seminary came to visit me and Tobie. Now, at the time, we were Bais Yaakovers finding themselves in a real, honest-to-G-d Modern Orthodox institution for the first time in our lives, (maybe it wasn't Tobie's first time; still, we were pretty Bais Yaakoved, the both of us, comparatively at least,) and there was a lot to get used to. Like people respecting out intelligence and not actually thinking that wearing knee socks was the 11th commandment. Anyway, at the time, this madricha of ours, who was a major supporter of women learning gemarrah (not all women, the women who for whom it would increase their emunah and improve their avodat Hashem) and as someone who learned a lot of gemarrah herself, seemed pretty to the left of what we were used to. But talking to her Thursday....we realized just how far off the deep end of kfirah we'd really gone.
Like for example, how I don't think that women who wear shorter sleeves, or slightly lower necklines, or don't cover all of their hair, are really actually less religous than I am....or how I actually believe that there should davka be people who hold by the more lenient halachik opinions because if there weren't any it would cheapen what is so beautiful about the halachik system, actually stamp out the reason for its existence......
Or how, I'm not actually sure if G-d cares so much about what we do. Or if He does, how much. And if He does, how much that really matters.....
And the whole thing about choosing the halachik system as the system you decide to buy into. It somehow feels as if there ought to be more of an internal, inherent something pulling you to it....
Plus, there is the whole wanting to get smicha thing.
This Shabbat was spent with good, close friends, two out of three of whom went to pretty much exactly the same educational institutions as I did, so naturally we got to talking about high school, and how much we've changed since then. Highlighted by this: at some point, I remembered a story about the skirt I happened to be wearing. Not a terribly exciting story. It was just that, I had bought this skirt on my first trip to Israel, as a senior in high school checking out seminaries; and in its original incarnation, the skirt had two slits at the sides. They weren't very high slits. I don't think they even reached the middle of my calf. But when I got home I had them sown up. I think it wasn't actually out of frumkeit, and more a question of what to wear underneath....the eternal socks vs. tights on Shabbat issue which I didn't want to deal with, so I just simplified the situation by eliminating the question. Which turned out to be unnecessary, as I no longer wear socks or tights ever, except when it's really cold out.
I mentioned this ironically to one of my friends who said "Wow. You were really frum."
You've got to wonder about those teachers who warn you about going off the deep end. Some of them turn out to be right.....
(I'm not sure exactly where that link is going to lead you all, but I don't know how to fiddle with html stuff. Maybe someone can instruct me. Yoni?)
Anyway, the reason this makes me giggle with sardonic and vaguely vengeful glee is a reflection on my weekend.
Thursday afternoon, my madricha from my first year in seminary came to visit me and Tobie. Now, at the time, we were Bais Yaakovers finding themselves in a real, honest-to-G-d Modern Orthodox institution for the first time in our lives, (maybe it wasn't Tobie's first time; still, we were pretty Bais Yaakoved, the both of us, comparatively at least,) and there was a lot to get used to. Like people respecting out intelligence and not actually thinking that wearing knee socks was the 11th commandment. Anyway, at the time, this madricha of ours, who was a major supporter of women learning gemarrah (not all women, the women who for whom it would increase their emunah and improve their avodat Hashem) and as someone who learned a lot of gemarrah herself, seemed pretty to the left of what we were used to. But talking to her Thursday....we realized just how far off the deep end of kfirah we'd really gone.
Like for example, how I don't think that women who wear shorter sleeves, or slightly lower necklines, or don't cover all of their hair, are really actually less religous than I am....or how I actually believe that there should davka be people who hold by the more lenient halachik opinions because if there weren't any it would cheapen what is so beautiful about the halachik system, actually stamp out the reason for its existence......
Or how, I'm not actually sure if G-d cares so much about what we do. Or if He does, how much. And if He does, how much that really matters.....
And the whole thing about choosing the halachik system as the system you decide to buy into. It somehow feels as if there ought to be more of an internal, inherent something pulling you to it....
Plus, there is the whole wanting to get smicha thing.
This Shabbat was spent with good, close friends, two out of three of whom went to pretty much exactly the same educational institutions as I did, so naturally we got to talking about high school, and how much we've changed since then. Highlighted by this: at some point, I remembered a story about the skirt I happened to be wearing. Not a terribly exciting story. It was just that, I had bought this skirt on my first trip to Israel, as a senior in high school checking out seminaries; and in its original incarnation, the skirt had two slits at the sides. They weren't very high slits. I don't think they even reached the middle of my calf. But when I got home I had them sown up. I think it wasn't actually out of frumkeit, and more a question of what to wear underneath....the eternal socks vs. tights on Shabbat issue which I didn't want to deal with, so I just simplified the situation by eliminating the question. Which turned out to be unnecessary, as I no longer wear socks or tights ever, except when it's really cold out.
I mentioned this ironically to one of my friends who said "Wow. You were really frum."
You've got to wonder about those teachers who warn you about going off the deep end. Some of them turn out to be right.....
posted by Miri at 4:03 PM
11 Comments:
Mazel tov! was your teacher proud of you?
Oh my former teachers would turn white if they knew what people like you, tobie, sara, and others had given me license to think and do. (there is nothing like finding people out there who actualy SHARE your weird approaches and thoughts about things, to give you license to turn everything upside down.) perahps the internet is really evil after all. :-)
I got 56% RW Modern Orthodox and 70% Left Wing Chareidi...
Which made me "Huh?"...
I guess LW Lubav wasn't a choice...
{Sorry, I just figured that I ought to be the first to mention the L word, hahaha}
So what do you think about Beis Yaakov now?
82% LWMO, 86% RWMO
Gosh, it's so weird to wake up and realize that you're what your high school teachers were afraid you might turn into....
HNC-
I think perhaps the internet really is evil...or at least, it really does what everyone thinks it will. That is, make people think kfiradikke thoughts and go off the derech hee hee.
Nemo-
We all knew one of us was going to eventually, it might as well have been you.
As to what I think of Bais Yaakov...I was never pro to begin with. I don't think there's anything wrong with people of that hashkafa existing in the world. What I object to is the fact that they think they are The One True Way and can't seem to accept that it's ok for their to be different kinds of Orthodox Judaism in the world. It seems to be a common problem.
Tobie-
I know, right? It's like all their worst nightmares come true...if only we'd got on the train with everyone else....
T & M,
How do your families feel about this?
My family is blissfully unaware, more or less; what little they suspect troubles them, I think.
I can't speak directly for Tobie but I don't think her family cares.
I can just taste the sarcasm :-). (which is unusual for me. Usualy I wouldn't know sarcasm if it beat me over the head with a two by four.)
and I thought tobie's family was modern orthodox. If anything I'd be worried they thought she was too frum.
Since Tobie's family now has a voice of its own, I think it'll be fielding all the Tobie-related questions...
Oh my G-d, my family has become possessed! A foreign voice speaks from their collective throat- do you think it's a dybbuk?
But seriously folks, my family has such a wide range of theologies that I probably come down somewhere in the middle. Add to that a severe pragmatism, logicalness, and love of argumentation and really I think that Miri's right on the money with the couldn't care less thing.
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